Update) 2025 and Beyond

This is going to a little bit different from the other entries I've posted. I'm not writing this to talk about a game or make some outdated pop culture reference. Instead, I want to put into words a bit more of the "why" I made this site, as well as outline my plans for the rest of the year and beyond. As I originally started out with the intention of playing the equivalent of one game a week for the entire year while also writing about my thoughts on said games, I am at the time of writing this well past my goal, sitting at 59 games played from start to finish, and with my update schedule will have the entry for game number 52 up by the end of November. So, where does this leave me and this site?

The Why:

To start, I want to first take a trip down memory lane. I grew up in a small rural community and graduated high school in 2006. As the only things to do in my home town were essentially farming and meth, I moved away two weeks after graduation. Originally going to college to learn about video game design, I dropped out shortly after starting as the education I was receiving wasn't worth the time and money I was spending. That's not hyperbole either, as what student debt I DID have was cancelled after a series of class action suits. Thus I began working in food service, which I liked for a time, but it tends to wear on a person. In this time, I began to drink. recreationally at first, but it slowly became habitual. For a long time, I told myself that I didn't have a problem.

Starting when I was high school, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. For a brief time, I took anti-depressants which seemed to work pretty well. Unfortunately, my mother told me that my friends had reached out to her, saying that I didn't seem like myself, which led to me deciding to stop taking my anti-depressants. I know it sounds stupid, mostly because it is, but I was young and stubborn and was determined to live my life without being shackled to an outside substance. In hindsight, this is greatly ironic.

Fast forward to January 2024, where my drinking has become my default and I've lost contact with most of the people in my life. I get a call from my mother, in tears, telling me that my older brother was in the hospital with advanced cirrhosis of the liver. His condition was so bad that he was being moved to a hospital in the city where I live in hopes that they'd have a specialist that might be able to help him. I remember going to see him the day he arrived, his skin and eyes yellowed and his form gaunt. We were never as close as we could have been, and I take all of the blame for that. A couple weeks later, he was gone. He left behind a son and daughter, a toddler and infant. He was 38.

What I had never known, as I never bothered to learn, was that my brother had a similar habit of drinking, and likely for a lot of the same reasons. His drinking, which he never admitted to having a problem with, ultimately led to his death. His children will grow up without him, without knowing him, of only knowing him through the stories told by others. He exists in memories and photographs. To say that all of this had an effect on me is an understatement.

A few days ago, I celebrated being sober for 365 days. One year. In addition, I've been seeing a therapist and, better late than never, have been taking my medication. I've also reconnected with old friends and my family, all of whom have welcomed me back into their lives while not necessarily knowing of my hardships. I'm trying to be better and do better, and I can only hope my efforts show.

So, long story short, this challenge and this website have been my escape. My way to focus my mind so that I don't fall into old habits. It's helped rekindle my love of gaming and has, I can hope, facilitated my growth as a writer. I look back at the entries I've written and can see my growth as some entries are a little cringe worthy, but others I firmly believe to be good. Writing about these games has allowed me to alter how I think about games, reflecting on the experiences and encouraging me to learn more about how they came to be.

All of this could easily have been accomplished with a free blog on any of a number of sites. Doing so would probably have allowed for more (any) visibility, but I know myself. I've had blogs like that in the past, and I usually start strong, then fall off. No, I'm an idiot, but a stubborn one who knows himself. Thus I opted to pay for this website, domain, and even email, all because my tiny brain knows that paying for it makes it feel real. It makes writing and posting an obligation. Yes, I'm stupid, but I know how to make this idiot work.

Thus, as I have actually come to enjoy writing and posting on here, I see no reason to fix what isn't broken. I'm doing this for me, to make me feel good and improve myself. It also helps that, as they grow older and if something were to happen to me, my nephew and niece can look at this and get to know me. I admit, a large part of why I want to write is to leave something behind for them, to show that I existed, and to allow them to connect with me, and maybe even give them words to live by.

As for this site, I have a few things I want to announce/ commit to. As I said, I will reach the end of my 52 game challenge by the end of November, but that doesn't mean I'll stop posting. Instead, I'll be adding a few new categories and topics, which I'll kickstart in December. For the entire month of December, I'll be writing and posting every SINGLE day. Tuesday and Friday will continue to be my thoughts on video games, but I'll also be posting about the past year as a whole, as well as introducing a few new things.

New Game +

A new category for games I've either already covered, or games that I want to cover that I'm not playing for the first time. This will include, among other things, challenge runs, such as Pokemon Nuzlockes and Final Fantasy's Four Job Fiesta.

The First Annual Dpademy Awards:

While far from anything serious, I do want to gush and give shout outs to games, moments, and performances that left an indelible impression. Any game that I have played and written about by the end of November will be eligible, and I plan on having a bit of fun with this.

Shattered Destinies:

This is a secret project I've been working on for a few months that I'm very excited to see come together. I won't say much, but I have fallen in love with it, and hope to share updates soon.