95) Chocobo GP (2022)

Serving as the much anticipated follow up to 1999's Chocobo Racing, the game that would become Chocobo GP floundered in development limbo for well over a decade. Originally announced in 2010 as a 3DS title, Square had outsourced development before quietly cancelling the project in 2013. in 2021, trademarks for Chocobo GP and Chocobo Grand Prix were filed before the official announcement of the title, which would release in March of 2022. The game was plagued with decisions that were seemingly harmful to players, and official support for new content for the game ended after only nine months.

As the name would suggest, the game is a Final Fantasy themed take on the kart racing genre, featuring a colorful, kid friendly cast of characters that are mostly classic monsters and summons from the games with a handful of characters from Final Fantasy VI, VII, VII, and IX. While obviously featuring online and local multiplayer, the game also sports a moderately long single player story mode that is, to put it mildly, absolutely insane. While the game starts off with a small handful of playable characters, playing through the story mode is essential to unlock both characters as well as the ability to buy other characters from the in game shop. This is where some of the initial issues with the game begin.

Focusing on the story, it begins with our primary cast of characters being invited to participate in a series of races with the promise of any wish they may have being granted. This leads on a journey where each new chapter we're introduced to a handful of colorful characters that we must then race before they ultimately decide to join us in our journey. We're free to play as any of the characters that join up with us, and most chapters merely require placing within a certain range, not necessarily coming in first, in order to advance. While the plot and reasoning for racing are paper thin, the fully voiced dialogue and batshit insane writing make the story entertaining.

While the plot is a thinly veiled excuse to move from one race to the next, the writing leans heavily into the absurdity of the concept while also making more than a few deep cuts in regards to the series' history. I admit I didn't expect to have a chapter dedicated to FFVI's Terra and her deep rooted issues, but here we are. It seems a bit at odds with itself, as the kid friendly coating likely won't appeal to long time fans of the series, and the casual audience is unlikely to get most of the references and jokes peppered throughout. Still, as a game one could play with friends and family as a way to casually introduce them to the franchise, it serves its purpose well enough.

The gameplay itself is fine for the most part. There aren't as many layers of complexity as you might find in the Mario Kart games, but there's little that's inherently broken. The power-ups range in usefulness and generally reference familiar spells from the franchise, though most are just your typical kart racing abilities with a weak layer of Final Fantasy paint. I would be remiss not to mention the one standout among these which is the Warp ability. When picked up, it alternates between red and blue until you deploy it. Red will open a portal that sends you further back in the race while blue sends you forward. The portal then remains open for a short time, allowing other racers to drive through it as well. In this way it can act as both a boon to the player that gets it or can be used as an obstacle. In addition to the various spells, each character has a special Limit Break they can perform when there meter is full. These are a fun way to make each character unique, though they vary wildly in effectiveness.

The majority of playable characters and customization options are locked away and must be purchased from the in game shop using one of two currencies. While it's easy enough to get these currencies in game now, that was not the case at launch. While they still could be obtained in game, Square also made the currencies available to purchase via microtransactions. In addition, any currency you earned in game would expire after a set amount of time while the currency you paid real, actual money for would not. Add to this a rotating roster of DLC characters that you had to purchase from the in game shop, featuring characters such as Cloud and Squall from VII and VIII respectively, and the game was rightfully blasted by fans for this incredibly predatory behavior. This is made all the worse considering the kid friendly nature of the game, rightfully marring the public perception of both the title and Square Enix as a company. It's worth noting that these practices have been rolled back, in game currency does not expire and all characters can be easily be acquired via in game means, but the damage was done.

Chocobo GP is an aggressively mediocre kart racer that is only barely enhanced by the Final Fantasy branding. The story mode, while genuinely funny and charming, can do little to salvage the experience, and while the predatory practices present at launch have been removed, they still linger like a strong, unpleasant bitter flavor. I applaud the efforts to try and push a story mode into a genre that generally lacks in single player content, but the charm and wit on display do little to elevate the experience for any but the most hardcore fans, and I can certainly think of better kart racers available if there's truly an itch that needs to be scratched.