49) The Lord of the Rings: Gollum (2023)

First announced in March of 2019, The Lord of the Rings: Gollum seeks to answer questions that, to the best of my knowledge, nobody asked. Taking place between the events of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings proper, players take on the role of Gollum as we get a glimpse of what exactly the little freak was up to. Originally slated to release in 2021, the game was pushed back and finally released in 2023, and was panned across the board as an absolute failure of a game. Is that reputation deserved? Does the game have any redeeming qualities? Could the game at some point, with the benefit of hindsight and nostalgia, be seen as a hidden gem that was ahead of its time? I don't think I'll be breaking any new grounds when I say no, absolutely not.

We begin with a cutscene where our hero(?), Gollum, is being held in an Elven prison when none other than Gandalf the Grey comes to question him. After a brief bit of light torture, Gollum begins to tell his tale. In his search for his beloved Precious, which had been stolen by a particular tricksy Hobbit, Gollum rather unceremoniously made his way to Mount Doom. We see that he had discovered the lair of the giant spider Shelob and had become well versed in navigating the tunnels and using the arachnid to his advantage. That's right, the game about Gollum, possibly the most pivotal character in the series as a whole, completely glosses over what is literally the most important and significant aspects of his story, namely how he was able to simply walk into Mordor. He is, for the sake of the plot, discovered and captured by orcs and forced into slavery.

Waking up as a slave, we're the introduced to what passes as a gameplay loop. We're given a task and must follow a linear path that showcases Gollum's parkour skills. We have a never explained "Gollum Sense" that highlights objectives and shows us the path forward, but only when we're standing still. Once we follow the conveniently highlighted path to our objective, we then must complete our task and then backtrack back to where we began. Gameplay primarily consists of parkour style platforming, begging the question of how such a nimble and spry creature could have been caught, as well as stealth sections. This is where, if I can be honest, the game had the most potential. Most games based on the work of J.R.R. Tolkein are action packed, so using an established weak character with a focus on stealth is at the very least novel. The problem, as is the case with every aspect of the game, boils down to execution.

The stealth sections are wildly inconsistent with how they allow you to proceed. In some, you sneak around areas that are conveniently littered with places for you to hide as you avoid detection. You can use a rudimentary knowledge of patrol movements to your advantage and, if timed well, you can sneak up behind and throttle the Orc guards to death. Somehow this long and loud process will go unnoticed. In other sections, if a guard so much as thinks about you, it's an instant failure. Sometimes you can be spotted and escape, while other times you cannot, and there is no consistency between the two. If you are spotted and grabbed, the guard will punch you in the most unconvincing manner with no sound effects. It's kind of funny, until you remember you paid money for this game.

The parkour platforming sections aren't much better. You're either presented with an incredibly obvious, linear path to follow, or you have absolutely no indication of where to go. Frustratingly, there were numerous times where I simply couldn't see where the game expected me to go because the area was too dark. In a stealth game. About a character that, canonically, can see very well in the dark. It's not even a question of brightness, as adjusting it didn't help. I found myself utterly baffled by this design choice, though the sections in which you can see don't fair much better as the environments are generally hideous and repetitive. The few environments that DO look good cause the game to chug along, as though the game itself is baffled as to how to handle itself.

Another aspect of the game that showed a surprising amount of promise is how the game handles the two very distinct personalities of our lead. For those who don't know, Gollum's time with the ring in isolation that occurred prior to The Hobbit drove him a bit insane, fracturing his mind in two. we have Gollum, the more dominant and aggressive personality, and Smeagol, a much kinder and soft spoken side. A lot of time is spent with these two sides talking to one another and arguing, which actually works well in a game where the lead character spends a lot of time alone. This also allows the player to choose how they want to proceed, as at several points you get to make choices and choose which side to lean into. There are even times in which you must choose your side and then debate with yourself, which is a fun and novel concept. In a more competent game, this would be a great addition. Here, at best you get one of two achievements by always choosing one side over the other. As these decisions never truly impact the story, this gives us the only possible replay value, though I feel even completionists will think twice before going for 100%.

Gollum is an absolutely abysmal experience. It tells a story that no one would care about, and while I can concede a few interesting ideas are brought to the table, the execution is sloppy and uninspiring. While I can believe that the people who worked on the game may have had passion and a vision, the powers that be seem to have been under the impression that the Lord of the Rings license was a ticket to print money. It's no surprise that the working conditions for the developers was absolutely dreadful, and the commercial failure of the game saw the company close down it's development division. Infamously, shortly after release the studio issued an "apology" that reeked of AI and corporate non-speak.

Gollum is the kind of game that has the audacity to be terrible in the worst way possible. Its razor thin premise and few moments of promise are crushed by sloppy execution and some genuinely amateur level of game design. It's a game that is bad in a boring way, leaving the player frustrated and baffled instead of allowing them to laugh or revel in its terribleness. Not only do I find myself unable to recommend the game, even if you can snag it on sale, I find myself wishing I could have that time of my life back. While only lasting about eight hours, that's eight hours I could've have spent doing literally anything else, and my decision to spend my time on this will forever haunt me.