124) Crime Scene Cleaner (2024)

Crime Scene Cleaner is pretty self-explanatory in nature. It's a self paced sim game in which players are tasked with cleaning up crime scenes. While that would be enough for some games, and indeed, I've seen a number of sim games stop at just the concept, the team at President Studio took it a step or two further. There's an overarching narrative that ties the game together, as well as plenty of smaller stories that can be pieced together in each of the games missions. Some of the crimes we're tasked with cleaning up are those of passion, others of greed and power, and yet more of sheer stupidity. Throughout the experience is a dark sense of humor that helps keep the experience lighthearted despite the morbid subject.

We play as a janitor named Kovalsky who gets called in to help an old friend out after a drug deal gone south. Here', we're introduced to the primary mechanics of cleaning up blood, disposing of dead bodies, and placing furniture back in just the right spots. Even in the introductory level, there are plenty of secrets and Easter eggs to find that reward the player for exploration and thoroughness while also showcasing some of the game's humor. The more thorough and detailed we are, the more we're rewarded in between stages as we get to level up Kovalsky's skills, making him more efficient or unlocking better equipment.

After helping our friend, we catch the attention of a local crime boss who finds our work impressive. He offers us more work, which is hard for Kovalsky to turn down as he has a sick daughter to think of. Yes, it's the classic story of doing morally questionable work for a sick kid, but Kovalsky doesn't seem to fight the idea of doing it professionally very much, if at all. He even has no qualms in making jokes at the expense of the dead he's cleaning up, and will readily take any money or valuables that he comes across.

The gameplay is pretty standard, though well executed. We have a "dirt-sense" of sorts that highlights areas that need cleaning, and we have a handful of options in how to do so. Mops and sponges will be your most trusty allies, with powerwashing being best saved for very large areas as it can shatter items, which creates more things you have to clean up. We can unlock different chemicals with varying effects to add to our mop bucket, and we need to be mindful of the state of our tools to avoid further messes.

What I really admire about the game is how none of the 15 available missions play exactly the same, and while they obviously re-use certain assets, the stages themselves are wonderfully unique. You can probably speed through the missions pretty quickly if you try, but I personally found it quite relaxing to take my time, spending upwards of an hour in some levels as I explored to find the myriad of secrets that awaited me. As I mentioned earlier, there's quite a bit of story and narrative that you can find in each stage rather than having it simply fed to you. In addition, the team did an excellent job of hiding jokes and references for those who take the time to find them.

There's very little I can point to as being "wrong" or "bad" in the game. The voice acting comes off as a bit wooden, but it honestly adds to the charm a bit, and it's easy enough to ignore as we listen to s truly ecclectic blend of music that can be found in the game. There were times that I kind of wished we had a timer to add a sense of urgency, but as the focus is primarily on exploration and being thorough, I'm ultimately glad to see that it isn't implemented. I could argue that the game is easy, but again, it makes the game oddly cozy despite the darker nature of the setting.

Crime Scene Cleaner is a great game to sit back and zen out with. The writing is fun and interesting with the environmental storytelling on full display. The cleaning mechanics are fun and well executed, though they leave enough room for error as to make things fun and interesting. If, by chance, you find the full game to not be nearly enough, there's also two extra levels that make things a bit more meta while providing a lot of extra bodies to clean up. If you've ever wondered what it's like to clean up gallons of blood, or if you just want to see how things turn out with our lead's sick daughter, the game is easy for me to recommend. Just watch out for spectral cats and well-meaning roombas.